First jumu’ah


It’s been some weeks since my knee injury and al-hamdu lillāh my leg is getting a lot stronger. So today I decided to crutch my way along to my very first jumu’ah in ages.

I had an M.R.I. scan earlier this week and the results came back much better than I’d expected.

I’ve apparently only got a mild synovitis, which basically means that my knee is swollen.

Which is kind of amazing when you think about it!

I mean, it took a machine the size of small petroleum tanker to tell me that my knee is swollen when I could have probably come to the same conclusion by merely lifting up my trouser leg.

But I suppose it did help rule out the ligament tear that I’d previously been diagnosed with and so I’ll not totally abandon modern medicine just yet.

Has anyone else ever had an M.R.I. scan before?

It wasn’t anything like having an x-ray done and hence not at all what I was expecting.

You’re locked into this trolley (well, I was at least) and told not to move for the duration. Then you’re gently inserted into this huge machine and subjected to 15 minutes of, what I can only describe as, being forced to listen to a rave version of chopsticks.

If you don’t know what chopsticks is then just say al-hamdu lillāh. But if you really need to know, it’s the tune that Tom Hanks plays on the giant keyboard in the toy store scene of the film Big.

So I’m lying there listening to this huge metallic donut clunking, whirring and generally going EuGh! EuGh! Eaw! GnAa! GnAa! thinking is it making this noise because no-one has managed to build a machine capable of scanning a body part without the side effect of this aural bombardment, or does this noise actually serve a purpose? I asked the doctor afterwards and it’s apparently the latter.

But I got off lightly I suppose, as I was only inserted into the machine feet first.

Depending on what’s being scanned you’re often meant to go in head first; which is probably analogous to being placed into a closed steel coffin whilst the funeral director bangs on the side repeatedly with a big spoon.

I found this insightful cartoon when I was searching for information about M.R.I.’s so I guess I’m not alone in feeling that there are better ways to spend 15 minutes of your life.

Which brings me to another point. Can I just quite categorically state that CartoonStock.com is nauseatingly unfunny?

It doesn’t seem to matter what keyword I search for in google images but some duff cartoon from their site seems to pop up in the results.

Now whilst a caricature or exaggerated drawing of something is technically a cartoon, I’ve always been lead to believe that a cartoon was supposed to have some undertone of comedy in it. Rather than the junk that they regularly spew out and seem to be expecting someone to pay for.

Oh and I didn’t get the above one from there though, I just felt like venting.

And lastly, apologies to anyone who was expecting this post to lead somewhere or for there to be a punch line at the end but “I write ‘em like I see ‘em.”

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “First jumu’ah

  1. noor

    SubhanAllah….

    May Allah reward you for your sabr, patience and perseverance, and grant you a speedier complete recovery. May this purify you and by His (azawa’ jal’s) leave may u attain the best in this life and the akhirra.

    Ameen.

    Yep, i have seen this in progress, we have one in my department at uni. to be honest I wudn’t want to be the patient inside it…it’s too fascinating gawping at the scans. 🙂

  2. Amin to the du’ā and jazākum Allāhu khayran for making it.

    The hospital has let me keep my MRI scan; not sure what I’m going to do with it now though.

  3. “Has anyone else ever had an M.R.I. scan before?”

    I’ve had one

    It’s awful, I found it really claustrophobic and couldnt breath, I was in there for over an hour, and I kept thinking this is what it must be like for a person in the grave

    May Allaah give us wide and spacious grave filled with noor aameen

    My friends aunty had a bad experience with a MRI scan and the nurse forgot about her and left her in there, the aunty was terrified and was banging on the walls for over 5 hours she thought she was going to die in there….Allaahul musta’aan

    They really should think about inventing machinery that doesn’t leave such trauma for the patient as if being ill isn’t traumatic enough

  4. It’s true, even the woman who had the scan before me apparently freaked out a bit and the process had to be stop while they reassured her.

    Like I said al-hamdu lillāh that I was inserted feet first, so my head was out in the open and I didn’t feel trapped.

  5. subhanAllah… it seems so trivial when ur the person operating it.

    great idea for the scan….u get those light boxes innit… get a light box, stick it on ur wall, and then pin that up 😉 interesting centre piece for conversation when you have visitors….instead of ooo nice weather…”ooo nice ligaments”…. 🙂

    or maybe i shud just keep my mad scientist ajeeb ideas to myself…

    :$

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